Remembering Phyllis Zekauskas

Phyllis Katherine Dahl Zekauskas (1931-2024)

Our Aunt Phyllis Zekauskas passed away late last year, and a few months ago, members of our Zekauskas family gathered at the beautiful Union Church of Pocantico Hills in the Hudson Valley to remember her. It was the first time many of us had seen each other in a long while. Though we wished the gathering had been for a different reason, it was wonderful to be together.

Our cousin Peter Zekauskas delivered a moving eulogy about his mom — filled with sentiment, love, and humor. With his permission, we’re happy to share more about Aunt Phyl’s life here, along with some of Pete’s words honoring her beautiful life.

Phyllis Katherine Dahl was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, on May 13, 1931. She was the daughter of Gertrude and Hjalmer Dahl, an engineer for Westinghouse Electric, and sister to Robert. When Phyllis was young, the family moved to Minnesota, where she later graduated as valedictorian of Washburn High School’s Class of 1949. Her mother passed away that same year; her father had died when Phyllis was just 12.

After high school, Phyllis attended the University of Minnesota, where she earned a degree in home economics, just like our Aunt Ann. Following graduation, she worked as a recipe tester for General Mills and then at Betty Crocker, where she was featured in their 1956 cookbook’s test kitchen section. Soon after, Phyllis began working for Aunt Ann, whose business was growing rapidly at the time. Aunt Ann introduced Phyllis to her younger brother, John, whom she married in 1959.

In the early years of their marriage, Uncle John worked as a building engineer for the Waldorf Astoria, while Aunt Phyllis continued working for Aunt Ann as a food stylist for print and television commercials. Their specialty — ice cream — led to longtime collaborations with Sealtest, Friendly’s, and Breyers. Fittingly, Aunt Phyl loved ice cream. Her favorite was Breyers Natural Vanilla.

After living in New York City, Aunt Phyl and Uncle John moved to Ossining, New York, where Uncle John — with the help of coworkers, family, and friends — built their family home largely by hand. There, they raised our three cousins: Matthew (1962), Peter (1965), and Mark (1967). Aunt Phyl shaped her career around the needs of her family. Though she continued working for Aunt Ann off and on through the 1990s, she also earned a second degree in education from Manhattanville College and transitioned into teaching and early childhood education — one of her true passions.

Aunt Phyl had many passions: reading, photography, traveling, healthy cooking, and baking. She was famous in our family for her butterscotch brownies (recipe below), special birthday cakes, Christmas cookies, and our cousin Jeff’s favorite cheesecake. Farming, however, was not one of her passions — yet she spent summer after summer cheerfully picking berries at the Akscin family farm in Southold, Long Island.

Above all, Aunt Phyl was devoted to her lifelong network of great friends and to her family. She was the quintessential “boy mom,” happily embracing our cousins’ outsized passions for cars. At one point, their backyard in Ossining was filled with old cars — Mark’s 1973 Buick Riviera; Matt’s Chevy Citation; a communal AMC Gremlin without a roof; a 1966 AMC Rambler; a couple of 1972 Honda 600s; a friend’s smashed-up 1972 Cutlass; and a rusty old pickup. Aunt Phyl was a self-proclaimed bad driver, while Uncle John made sure the boys learned to drive as early as possible. She was always happy to hand over the keys and go along for the ride.

And what a ride it was. We are blessed to have had Aunt Phyllis in our lives for so long. She is survived by Uncle John; Matt & Nancy, Peter & Rose; Mark & Karen and daughters Lily & Sarah; and many, many nieces and nephews.

With love and remembrance,
Liz, John, & Suzy

Aunt Phyl’s famous butterscotch brownie recipe.